Kaleo Internship & A Part-Time Job!

It’s now official! My internship with our church, Kaleo, has begun! Click the picture below, or click here for a PDF format, for all of the juicy details.

This was handed out to everyone on August 8th when Amanda and I were presented to the church.

As a part of my internship, I am required to work a part-time job to help supplement my pay and to ensure that, although I will be working from home, I won’t end up becoming a pale, hermit crab with no social skills, which is especially important given my job description.

Thankfully, the search wasn’t to painful and I landed a job pretty quickly. Where? Thanks for asking, none other than the sacred temple for whiteys, Starbucks!

I am one of the many who is a Starbucks regular and I am proud to say that my drink order is so simple a chimp could prepare it. (Can you imagine a chimp wearing a Starbucks apron and hat!? That would be superb! Maybe I will pitch it to my store manager for local promotion purposes. #1 rule in marketing, Chimps Sell! Any advertiser worth their salt knows that. Can you imagine if the chimp actually worked in the store!? That can’t be sanitary. But I always sacrifice cleanliness for hilarity.) Beyond that, my regular order is very manly. Nothing sweet or fruity, just bitter and strong, like my heart.

But seriously, although pricey, Starbucks is a solid company that is very socially conscious. After my second day of training, I am filing away names of coworkers and regulars, both of which have been great to be around thus far. Plus I get free drinks, a fat discount on merchandise, and a pound of coffee every week!

So far, one of the best parts of the job are some of the extreme concoctions created by regulars that the veteran baristas have committed to memory. Today I sampled one of the more infamous drinks at our location, The Joanie. And when I say infamous, I mean one barista said to another, “He’s trying The Joanie,” to which the natural response is a look of disgust and genuine, “Ewww!” Here’s the recipe…

The Joanie

size: Grande

• 3 pumps of Vanilla Classic (liquid sugar)
• 3 pumps of Hazelnut Classic (liquid sugar)
• Foam
• Mild coffee
• 5 packets of Sweet’N Low

One sip was enough for me. This drink not only leaves an unnatural aftertaste in your mouth for, literally, 10 minutes but also a strange film on every surface of your teeth, cheeks, and gums. With one sip, it gave me a brief stomach ache. I’m no healthy eater, but The Joanie sucker-punched my guts with sugars that seemingly were the result of a middle school chemistry experiment gone wrong.

What can I say, though, I am a light weight compared to Joanie, especially given the fact that she orders this coo coo juice anywhere between four to six time a day, almost everyday.

Plenty more to come, I’m sure.

-Rustin